Ranger Cupid
by Mychele O'Carrik of Clonmel
Summary: Will is reading mythology, and gets it into his head that someone needs to bonk Halt and Pauline's heads together to show make them realize they're perfect for eachother. A picture of Cupid inspires Will's transformation into...RANGER CUPID! He palns to fire a love-arrow at Pauline. Hilarity ensues. Not quite crack, but pretty close. Really funny, Please read!:3


Ranger Cupid

Lazily reading a book about various mythologies for no particular reason, was Will. He was sitting in Tug's stall, keeping him company; Tug had gotten a stomach flu, but he was on the mend. As he looked through sundry illustrations, one elegant woman reminded him of Lady Pauline. Lady Pauline made him think of Halt's obvious "admiration" for her. Which, in turn, made him utterly exasperated. Why? Because that stupid Halt wouldn't just tell her already, and that silly Pauline wouldn't just fall in love already. With this thought, he turned the page whilst complaining to Tug.

"I don't see why they both pretend they don't notice eachother. He's great for her, she's perfect for him! Somebody needs to give them a shove or a love-potion or something…" He trailed off, eyes riveted on a drawing of a chubby angelic figure holding a recurve bow, much like Will's own, and wrapped only in a flowing white cloth-type-thing. This chubby fellow's eyes twinkled mischievously, his heart-tipped arrow pointing at an unsuspecting young lady. As Will read the description, noting the name "Cupid", an idea formed in his whirling mind.

Nosing him, Tug put in his word, sealing the concept in Will's head, deciding that it would indeed be put into play.

_You could do that Will, you have the right bow, and you're pretty small too._

"You're right!" Will exclaimed, "I absolutely could do it. But, I don't have to wear _that _do I?" he asked with a look of apprehension.

_Yes you do._

* * *

Halt was in Wensley doing who cares what, so Will had the cabin to himself. Thus began the transformation.

Though at first he planned on using a bed sheet for his garb, Will discovered the bolt of fabric Halt had freshly dyed to make a new summer cloak with, as the last one had been damaged beyond repair on their previous mission, which nobody cares about either. Gleefully, he snatched up the long cloth and disappeared into his room. He wrapped in around his waist, and flung the end over his left shoulder, belting the linen Ranger cloth with his double-scabbard belt. Then, he cleaned off Tug's brush and used it to brush out his somewhat curly hair until he achieved big, loose waves swept across his forehead babyishly. Barefoot, Will skipped about gleefully for a full minute, relishing his ingenuity in this amazing outfit, until he stumbled upon his bow. Literally.

He tumbled in a tangle with his unstrung bow, also sending his arrows skittering across the floor. Little birds flew around his head tweeting as Will took a new (upside-down) perspective on the cabin. When the birds quit their tweeting, and Will's vision returned to normal, his sight landed on his arrows.

"Dangit! I can't shoot Pauline with _real_ arrows!" he fumed, setting his mouth in a pout, completing his babyish look. Lazily munching a branch of crabapples, Tug stuck his nose in the window, having left his stall when Will left it open in his earnestness, commenting dryly.

_You're still upside-down. Why don't you just break off the end and stick something else on._ He paused, eyeing Will's makeshift "pants".

_By the way, didn't know you still wore diapers Will._

"Oh, shut up. Hmm, that's right! The Cupid guy had a heart on the end of his arrows," said Will, righting himself. His eyes lighted on the last crabapple on its stem, dangling from Tug's errant lips.

"THE APPLE!" Will exclaimed. "IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A HEART!1ONE!"

_So it does…._

But the Ranger-cherub was already out the door, gathering crabapples off the tree with a will.

* * *

Sitting casually under a roadside tree, concealed by virtue of his cloak, Halt gazed into space, motionless, as was his wont when sorting out a problem. Namely, why his apprentice kept wearing leaf-wreathes on his head after a particularly good practice session. Halt figured it might've come from that book Will had been reading, but why laurels?

While Halt sat, unsuspecting of his apprentice's latest oddity, Will was concentrating on the final, crucial touch to his transformation.

Eyes shut tightly, hand bunched into fists, and an aura of focus surrounding him, Will hummed with his effort; effort to sprout wings.

"Mmmmmmmmm…" POP!

With a sparkle and a pop, stubbly white wings burst from Will's shoulder blades, and Will ascended, tongue sticking out dumbly. He bobbed up and down making weird sounds while Tug fairly rolled his eyes.

"Bum dadada, bum dadada, bum de-dada dum…"

So saying, Will floated out the door, bow clutched fervently in his fist with his quiver over his shoulder, the back excess of his robe looped behind to form a hood. He bobbed down the path to Halt's "thinking spot" until he sighted his target, and immediately took cover in a tree.

Just then, wonder of wonders, Pauline came into view at the top of the little-used path, seemingly on a stroll. Instead of her white courier gown, she wore light blue, confirming Will's hunch that she wasn't working. The dress wasn't in the trademark courier style, but still in keeping with Pauline's philosophy that "simplicity is elegance".

With Halt further up the path to his right, and Pauline coming from the left, Will formulated his plan. Clearly having noticed Pauline, Halt paid no attention, remaining wreathed in shadows. Will would have to fix that.

As Pauline approached Halt, Will drew the bow, aimed his apple-tipped arrow of love at the small of her back, and when she was right in front of where Halt sat, released his deadly weapon.

"Hya!" Will cried in a high pitched voice. Unfortunately, he was so concentrated on his duty of matchmaking (he _did_ consider it a duty), that he toppled from the whippy branch on which he sat.

* * *

Pauline meandered up the path. She often came here when off-duty to relax. She hummed quietly, blissful in the gentle breeze. Little did she know, _she_ was the reason Halt came to "think" here. A high-pitched "hya!" suddenly rang out, and Pauline half turned to seek the source when something whammed into her side. Though it didn't hurt much, it startled her. She stumbled a half step to the side, but her foot caught on the edge of her sky-blue gown and she tripped.

"Oh!" she cried, bracing for hard impact. Suddenly, strong arms intercepted her fall catching her across the front of her shoulders and encircling her waist.

* * *

From his once again topsy-turvy position, Will's eyes gleamed, bursting into heart shapes. This was an unforeseen blessing to his plan!

* * *

Halt saw Pauline walking past; he longed to simply come out with his feelings, but he knew that he couldn't. Why? Don't question THEE Halt, he'll throw you in a moat. Suddenly, a "hya", an arrow, a trip, Halt darted upright and caught her deftly. No way he would let her fall. Not with gallant Halt here to catch her. And was that an _arrow_?

Alarmed, Halt righted Pauline on her feet, still supporting her.

"Pauline, are you hurt? Are you bleeding?" he said with a note or urgency. Stupid questions, considering that was an arrow that just hit her, but don't question THEE Halt, remember?

Pauline, surprisingly, laughed, standing straight and putting a hand to her chest in relief.

"Oh dear, what a strange thing. No, no, I'm not hurt. Thank you, Halt."

Without knowing why she wasn't dead, but okay with it, Halt suddenly realized his hand was still on her waist. He pulled back, trying not to snatch it as if on fire, and looked away to compose himself.

"No problem. I thought that you were seriously hurt, that was an arrow fired at you. Who did it?..." He trailed off, one eyebrow shooting up at the sight that greeted him beyond Pauline's shoulder.

Will was wrapped in his cloak cloth, looking really stupid, in a babyish get-up. Stranger still, his arms were bent on either side, hands flapping as he walked away simultaneously squatting then straightening to tippy-toes, so that he bobbed down the path, tongue stuck out at an angle. He turned back to Pauline, who was looking at him quite interestedly. Halt immediately forgot his weird apprentice and sank into the cool grey of Pauline's eyes...

"My Plan worked! Ranger Cupid has completed his first mission! Bum dadada, bum de-dada dum…"

* * *

**A/N Make of that what you Will, I just got the idea into my head late at night, drew the picture (which is the story cover), and then just had to write the story. This is a one-shot, but if a lot of people like it, maybe Will will get it into his head to try the love arrows on Alyss.;) :3 bye-bye :3  
**


End file.
